How can anything be just what you’re supposed to do?
My friend texted me recently to inquire when I was going to get with it and start a family. Why? I asked, and she texted that people think getting a partner and creating a family is just what you do in life. There is nothing better or worse about making that choice; creating a family is beautiful and one of the wonderful options in life. But my heart sank a bit to hear the idea that people might think that it’s just what you do.
How can that anything be just what you’re supposed to do?
The world is huge. Life is complicated, meandering and occasionally surprising. The day-to-day mundane may be similar, but the overall arch of our lives, the theme of our lives, is unique to each of us. There are so many possibilities in life, and so many ways to create a life you love. None of it has to be just what you do. Not one single thing has to be done because you think you are supposed to, or because you think people will or will not approve of your choices. Nothing should be done because you think it’s the easiest choice, or the safest. Unless, of course, you’re into that kind of thing. Easy and safe.
When it comes down to it, it’s you alone who moves through your day-to-day existence. How does it feel to move through your life? How does it feel to wake up and experience your day? That should be what guides your choices. What comes to mind when you hear the word success? Perhaps you think of wealth, money, career and power. Those things can be the definition of success. But they don’t have to be. Most important is for you to not accept what you are told is the definition of success. Do the work; sit with yourself, dig inside yourself and unearth your own truths. What is your personal definition of success? What does it look like to create a life you love?
For me, success means living a life I love, and that guides my choices. And knowing how to create a life you love means knowing yourself deeply enough that you have an inner compass to follow. To me, that is success.
What is your definition of success?